Moving abroad as a couple is an exciting journey full of new experiences and opportunities. It can strengthen your bond but also bring lots of unexpected challenges.
I’ve moved abroad with my partner from the Netherlands to China, back to the Netherlands, followed by Iraq, and then South Korea. Needless to say, this journey had many ups and downs (mostly ups!)
Moving and living abroad with your partner has lots of (unexpected) benefits but also challenges.
In this complete guide, I’ll share all my experiences, challenges, and tips for moving abroad together.
Moving Abroad as a Couple – Key Takeaways
- Working together through challenges strengthens your relationship.
- Shared experiences abroad create lasting memories.
- Teamwork helps to navigate new environments and paperwork.
Deciding to Move Abroad Together
Moving abroad is a big step, for both! It’s a decision you might not take in a day. Nevertheless, moving abroad is full of surprises, so there’s no point in overthinking it.
If you’ve always had the idea in your mind of living abroad, going together with your partner can make the process much more easy and fun.
When my wife (girlfriend back then) got a job opportunity in Beijing, China, I said yes, let’s do it, and let’s go!
We got married two months later so I could get a visa as well, from her work-visa. Not the most romantic way, but it was the start of an adventure and an everlasting honeymoon.
Assessing Your Reasons for Relocating Abroad
Before relocating, you can take time to reflect on why you want to move abroad. Make a list of your reasons:
- Career Opportunities: Are you seeking new job prospects or professional growth?
- Lifestyle Changes: Do you want a different pace of life or more cultural experiences?
- Relationship Growth: Could living abroad strengthen your bond as a couple?
Understanding your reasons will help clarify your goals. Ask your partner about their motivations, too. Their thoughts may align or differ from yours, and discussing these can bring you closer together.
Discussing Expectations with Your Partner
Clear communication is key when planning to move abroad. Both of you should express your expectations openly. This will help prevent misunderstandings later.
- Living Arrangements: Discuss where you would like to live and the type of environment you prefer. (City center or further away more quiet)
- Financial Considerations: Talk about budgeting for living expenses and how each of you will contribute.
- Responsibility Sharing: Decide who will handle specific tasks during the move, like finding housing or managing paperwork.
Make sure both partners are heard during these discussions. This will create a supportive atmosphere as you prepare for a new life together.
Moving Abroad as a Couple: 9 Reasons Why It Will Work
Moving and living abroad as a couple has lots of benefits that will improve your experience abroad and can also improve your relationship.
1. Having a Common Goal Helps the Relationship
When moving abroad as a couple, you both have a common goal, which is, making the most of this adventure!
This is totally different from when you live together at home. You both have a job if all goes well, you do your thing, and while you also want to make the most and enjoy it the most when you live at home of course, living abroad is just different.
It gives you both something to focus on together. This shared purpose can definitely strengthen your bond. I always felt that this made us stronger.
Examples of common goals include:
- Finding a house
- Arranging documents (both probably need the same ones)
- Learning the local language
- Exploring new places together
- Building a support network in your new home
These are all things that have to be done, and you both have exactly the same goals.
Benefits of common goals:
- Increased teamwork: You work together to achieve your aims.
- Shared excitement: Celebrating achievements together enhances your relationship.
- Problem-solving: Facing challenges together can bring you closer.
Having a united vision of your life abroad creates a sense of purpose. It reminds you that you are in this journey together!
2. You’ll Have lots of experiences to share
Moving abroad as a couple opens the door to many unique experiences. These moments can strengthen your bond and give you both stories to tell. You’ll most likely not only experience a lot of things, but they are also much more relatable since your both in the same “boat”.
To friends and family back at home, the things you might experience abroad are much less relatable to them. This is one of the downsides of living abroad that I didn't forsee at all.
So, being able to truly share these things on a level that you both understand is just way nicer than you might think.
You will explore new places together. Visiting local landmarks, trying different foods, and interacting with local cultures can be exciting. Even something simple such as ordering the wrong food because you don’t understand the menu.
My advice is to document your journey through photos, a shared journal, or a travel blog! Capturing your experiences allows you to reflect on special moments, and there will be a lot so make sure to save them. It also gives you a chance to share your story more easily with friends and family back home.
3. You Can Help Each Other Learn the New Language
Learning a new language together may strengthen your bond as a couple but it will surely be more fun and easy.
Together with my wife we studied Chinese (mandarin), Spanish and a little bit of Korean. We always dared eachother to try to ask something at a strore in the new language, which was never a succes, but we had fun!
Here are some ideas on how to assist each other:
- Practice Daily: Set aside time each day to practice. Even 15-30 minutes can make a difference.
- Use Language Apps: Many apps offer games and interactive lessons. Try apps like Duolingo or Babbel together.
- Label Household Items: Use sticky notes to label items around your home. This helps with vocabulary in a natural way.
- Watch Movies and Shows: Choose films or shows in the new language with subtitles! This is one of the best ways to get an introduction to a new language.
- Join Online or Local Classes Together: Taking a language class can enhance your skills. You motivate each other and meet other folks as well. We attended a Spanish class because we wanted to go to South America. We ended up in South Korea…
4. You’ll Have to Spend Less Time on Social Obligations and Thus Have More Time for Each Other
Moving abroad can change how you spend your time. One major benefit is reducing social obligations. You will find that your new environment leads to fewer demands from friends and family.
Some key points:
Less Social Pressure: In a new country, you may not feel the same pressure to attend every gathering or event. This gives you the space to focus on your relationship.
Quality Time: With fewer distractions, you have more opportunities to enjoy activities together. Explore local attractions or simply relax at home.
Create Your Own Schedule: You can build a routine that suits your needs. Spend your free time on hobbies or interests you both share.
Prioritize Each Other: Use this time to strengthen your bond. Have regular date nights or deep conversations without interruptions
Making a move can bring changes, but it also allows you to reconnect. Embrace the new lifestyle where you can focus on each other and enjoy life together.
5. Moving Abroad Requires Teamwork
Teamwork makes the dream work! Moving abroad together is a big step. It takes teamwork to make it work.
You’ll be in a much different situation than you would have been back home. You need to work togehter to make it happen; devide the tasks, have you done …? have you finished …? Should we look into…? What if we…? You will constantly be working together. It’s part of having that same vision and goal of living abroad. And when you have that same vision, it will work.
Tip: Make a shared Dropbox/Google Drive folder where you can keep all documents so you both can reach them at any time.
Communication is Key
Being open with each other about feelings is vital. Discuss your expectations, fears, and hopes. This honesty builds trust.
Set Shared Goals
Decide what you want from your time abroad. Whether it’s exploring new places or trying local food, having common aims helps you stay united.
Make Time for Fun
Amidst the challenges, find moments to enjoy each other’s company. Explore new neighborhoods or try new activities.
By working together and being supportive, you can face obstacles much more easily. The challenges of moving abroad can forge a stronger relationship.
The first few months of living abroad are always the most hectic ones. This has been the case with us when we moved to China, Iraq and South Korea.
6. You Will Not Have to Feel Lonely Abroad
Moving abroad as a couple can make things much easier because you’ll likely experience less homesickness.
During the Covid era my wide and I were ‘stuck’ in China because the borders were closed for several years. I didn’t see my family for more than 2 years. Doing this adventure together surely made it easier.
To combat loneliness, consider these tips:
- Join local clubs or groups: This can help you meet new people and make friends.
- Attend community events: Participating in local happenings allows you to connect with the culture and locals.
- Explore together: Discover your new surroundings hand in hand. This shared experience can strengthen your relationship.
Homesickness is common, but there are ways to ease those feelings:
- Create a routine: Establishing daily habits can give you comfort in a new place.
- Stay connected: Regular video calls with family and friends can help you feel linked to home.
- Decorate your living space: Adding personal touches can remind you of home and create a cozy atmosphere.
By actively engaging in your new environment and making an effort to connect with others, you can reduce feelings of loneliness and homesickness. Remember that you are in this together, making it a unique adventure instead of a challenge.
7. You Can Support Each Other Financially
Supporting each other financially helps reduce stress and the risk of returning home! Returning home is not the goal! There will be tough times, as well as financial difficulties. Some costs might be higher than expected, finding a place to stay takes longer than expected, you get into an accident, you need to buy some new stuff etc.
Create a shared savings plan. Having a joint account makes it more easy and more transparent on what the costs are and how much you can spend. It can also be for travel and emergencies a safety net. Aim for small contributions each month. Even a little can add up quickly.
8. You’ll Meet Other People Much Faster
Moving abroad as a couple can speed up your social life. When you both put yourselves out there, it opens more doors to new connections and maybe even friendships.
When we lived in China, I worked at a company where I met several Chinese friends (who I still see today!). While my wife worked at the international company and met other expats.
Here are a few ways you can meet others quickly:
- Attend Local Events: Join festivals, fairs, or community gatherings together. These events often attract many newcomers looking to connect.
- Take Classes Together: Enroll in cooking, dance, or language classes. This creates a shared experience and helps you meet others with similar interests.
- Join Clubs: Look for clubs that match your hobbies. Whether it’s sports, book clubs, or volunteer groups, being active together helps build connections.
- Use Social Media: Platforms like Facebook have groups specific to expats or locals. Engaging in these online communities can lead to offline meetups.
By navigating this new journey as a team, you each bring your unique personality to the mix. Your different strengths can help break the ice and make interactions more comfortable.
Remember to:
- Encourage each other to engage with others.
- Be open to new experiences.
- Enjoy the process of meeting people together.
9. Paperwork Will Be Easier to Deal With
Moving abroad involves a lot of paperwork. Tackling this task as a couple makes it much simpler!
You can divide responsibilities, but in my experience, it’s better to do all the paperwork together. There will be times when one of you has to have a certain document and then another one for the other on a different occasion. If you’re both completely up to date on all the files and stuff, things will be much easier, and there will be fewer mistakes.
Tip: Create an online folder but also keep all your documents in a safe (water proof because you never know) container.
Working together can ease the stress. If one of you gets stuck, the other can offer support or find solutions.
By combining your efforts, the journey of gathering paperwork becomes much more manageable. You’ll find that you can focus on the exciting parts of moving abroad instead of less fun paperwork.
Check out my moving abroad checklist.
Moving Abroad as a Couple: 4 Reasons Why it Can Be Challenging
Moving abroad presents both exciting opportunities and unique challenges for couples. You may face emotional, logistical, and legal hurdles that require clear communication and mutual support. Here’s a closer look at some of the key challenges that can arise and how to navigate them.
1. You get to know each other on another level
Moving abroad is an adventure with lots of unexpected challenges. You’ll have to face all these challenges together. These things will be way different than living together back home so you’ll get to know each other on a different level.
This can surely strengthen the bond, but it will also be challenging as you will see different sides and really get to know each other in different situations
When we moved to Iraq, there were times that there wasnt any electricity or water. This unforeseen situation can be stressful and you’ll have to deal with it together.
Sometimes, relocating as a couple can feel like the show Married at First Sight; you get thrown in the deep and have to figure it out together.
2. Dealing with Trailing Spouse Syndrome
When one partner moves abroad for work while the other struggles to find employment, feelings of isolation can emerge. This situation, known as trailing spouse syndrome, often leads to frustration and resentment.
If you find yourself in this position, acknowledge the emotional strain. Open discussions about feelings can help. Set goals together, such as exploring local attractions or volunteering. This can create a sense of purpose and connection. Building your social circle is also essential; join expat groups or local clubs.
I’ve written about several ways to earn money abroad, some might surprise you. It’s key to have something for yourself, a job, or a project. Think about your personal goals before moving. Setting up a blog for instance takes time, start as early as possible with the preperations.
What If one of you loves it abroad and the other doesn’t? This is a tough situation. Talk openly about your feelings, consider all options, and decide together what’s best for your relationship. Remember that the first few weeks/months are always the toughest. It takes time to get adjusted to your new surroundings.
But, chances are that something will come on your path that will make you love your time abroad as well.
3. One of you wants to move back home
When things don’t work out as expected, and one of you wants to move back home, this can be tough. It can happen!
During our last year in China, my wife had to go back home to The Netherlands, but I wanted to stay. After several conversations we decided that I would stay 3 months longer. I wanted to finish some work and say good bye to friends.
I loved my time in Shanghai. I had a huge social network, so it wasn’t easy to go back.
Not seeing each other for three months was tough but it’s a compromise that worked out.
You’ll have to decide if your relationship is strong enough not to see each other for a while if that’s the compromise.
Keep in mind that if this happens, you might have to deal with a time zone difference, which can make communication more challenging.
4. Adjusting to Life Abroad
Adapting to a new life in another country brings various challenges and opportunities. It is essential to focus on the adjustment period, making new friends, and staying connected to your roots. These aspects play a key role in smoothing the transition to your new environment.
The adjustment period, the first few weeks or months, can be tough. You may feel homesick or overwhelmed by the differences in culture, language, and lifestyle.
To make this period easier:
- Be patient: Give yourself time to adapt to a new routine. In my experience, many things that you might not like in the beginning will be things you’ll laugh about after a while.
- Establish a daily routine: This creates a sense of stability.
- Learn the language: Even basic phrases can help you feel way more connected.
Keep in mind that it just takes time to meet people and establish social connections. Sometimes, even up to 6 months.
You can:
- Join local clubs or groups: Look for activities that interest you, such as yoga, sports, or art classes.
- Attend community events: These gatherings offer opportunities to meet locals and other expats.
- Volunteer: Giving back can help in forming bonds with people who share your values.
Making friends can take time, but being open and approachable can lead to meaningful connections.
Final thoughts on moving abroad as a couple
If you ever get the chance in your life to move to another country for a while, then go for it. Time flies and you’ll only regret the things you didn’t do later in life.
Moving abroad can seem daunting, but what’s the worst that can happen? It can cost money, maybe more than you anticipated, but staying at home also isn’t free.
As you may have read, there are many more benefits of moving abroad as a couple than there are downsides.
I’m pretty sure that when you take the leap, you’ll be hooked and want to explore a lot more.
Final tips:
- Take your time to prepare.
- Share the idea of moving abroad with friends; there is always someone who can help.
- Don’t try to plan too much, things will mostly always go different than initially planned.
Ever thought of moving abroad? (or perhaps for several months) Comment below and share your thoughts or experiences; I look forward to connecting!
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some common questions couples have when taking this huge step in life.
Should we move abroad if we’ve never lived together before?
It’s definitely possible. My wife and I had never lived together before we moved abroad. Having that common goal of exploring a new country makes living together more easy in my experience.
What if one of us wants to move abroad, but the other isn’t sure?
Open communication is key. Talk about concerns, visit the country first if possible, and consider compromises like a short-term stay. Gather more info, watch YouTube videos, and read travel blogs! 😉
How do we choose the right country to move to?
Consider job opportunities, cost of living, language, culture, and how welcoming the country is for foreign couples. A culture shock can improve the experience a lot and make things more interesting.
How do we handle money as a couple while living abroad?
Decide on a system that works for you, shared bank accounts, budgeting apps, or splitting expenses. Also, research local banking and tax rules. A shared bank account works best for us.
What if one of us can’t find a job abroad?
Look into remote work, freelancing, or alternative visa options that allow both partners to work legally. Check out my tips for working abroad.
